


Are you still there?

by alchemicalTyphoon



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Heavy Angst, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:28:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22078471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemicalTyphoon/pseuds/alchemicalTyphoon
Summary: He misses his love dearly. When they're asleep, he finally has the opportunity to break down.
Relationships: Apprentice/Asra (The Arcana)
Kudos: 68





	Are you still there?

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah this is just another shameless angst thing. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

It's difficult to concentrate when there's an audience. Especially an audience that has a rather intense presence. Asra exhales, and closes his eyes for a moment. There's a barely audible rush of fabric, and when he opens them again, the tome he was pouring over has been bookmarked by a brush. He smiles and glances sideways. A familiar face has taken the seat next to him, staring intently at him. 

Asra turns to them, patting their head gently. They make a quiet noise of delight. "Is it perhaps almost bed time?", he asks, picking up the brush with his other hand. They nod quickly, their eyes growing bigger and their pursed lips breaking into full smile. "Brush?", they ask with barely contained enthusiasm. He chuckles and gets up. "Okay, 'brush' it is. It's getting late anyway and you've bathed and put your sleeping clothes on all by yourself already. Very good of you!", he praises. They wiggle with joy at his words, jogging a few circles around him and looking a little bit more like how they used to be in that moment. 

"I have to lock everything up before, but you can get in bed first. I'll come right away", he chokes out. They stop and frown a little. Then they do something he didn't think he'd ever have again: they approach him and give him a hug. His vision turns a little blurry, and he hastily blinks to clear his eyes. He's hesitant about hugging back, but tries anyway, only to turn it into a series of awkward pats on the back. Scraping his throat, he quietly says: "You're quite... huggy today, sweetheart. What, ah, brought this up?" 

They press themself against him and mimic his pats, making some incoherent grunts into his chest. He chuckles their name with quiet affection. "Come on. Use your words. Otherwise I won't understand what you're trying to say, sweetheart. I'm a magician, not a mind reader." They shift and look up at him. Their hands shoot up and cup his face before he gets a chance to react. It was always unnerving how fast they were before the incident, but now they don't telegraph their movements at all. "Sad", they softly state. His expression softens as he puts down the brush and places his hands on top of theirs. Nodding, he says: "Yes. I was... reminded of something that made me sad. It couldn't be helped. Thank you for trying to comfort me." There is a moment of silence. He steels himself and puts on a smile. "Now, go upstairs and get comfortable. I'll only need a minute. And then I'll follow you and I'll brush your hair. Deal?" Their face lights up and they nod. "Yes! Good deal!" 

Asra watches them trot upstairs, and starts locking up the store, before making his way to them as he promised to do. He finds them on the bed, in a nest of pillows and blankets. The sight brings a small smile on his face. "That's... quite a collection", he whistled, brush in hand. They grin, and make space for him. Once he's seated comfortably, they sit in front of him, humming a lullaby he's often entertained them with when they couldn't sleep. "I'm going to start brushing your hair, okay, sweetheart?" They immediately answer with "Yes!". 

He gathers their hair, loosely carding everything to the back. It's a mess that ends just past their shoulder blades, still a touch damp from their bath, and moderately tangled. Dividing it up into four semi-equal sections (two sides, the top, and the back), he starts with a side, holding their hair in place as he brushes the ends. He's careful about it, making sure he doesn't hurt them. This is the only time he can get them to sit still and not zoom all over the place, and Asra's grateful for the little respite. As the pile of tangles turns silky smooth, their repeating hums has become lethargic. And once he's done, he decides to put a loose braid in their hair so they wouldn't wake up to tangled hair again. It's already past their shoulders and he really needs to ask them if they wouldn't rather shear it down again like they used to. Before they'd... 

He swallows with difficulty, just as he feels them rest their head against his chest. "...Sweetheart?" They don't respond, but considering their state of limpness, it was safe to say they'd fallen asleep. He smiles despite his now free falling tears. His arms curls around them, and he lays them down, pressing himself against their back. Moments like these are the only times he dares do anything resembling old gestures, and he hates how secretive he has to be, lest he accidentally trigger a memory and renders them catatonic. 

"It's not fair. I can't even tell you how much I love you. Why did it have to be you? Why?", he whispers in between quiet sobs. "Why didn't you leave with me? Why did you insist on staying? Why didn't I fight harder for you? Why did I go? Why did I fail you so badly?" 

No answer came, save for the steady rhythm of their breathing. Asra presses a few kisses against their back. "It's unfair, so unfair. And I'm so sorry for leaving you, my love. I'm so, so sorry you had to be alone", he whispers in repeat. "I wish you would remember me, but even if you never will, even if you'll never love me back again, I will never stop loving you. Never. No matter how much this hurts, I'll love you forever with everything I have left." 

Asra allows himself one last hug, before he let's go. He takes a moment to compose himself, and gets up. There were still chores left to do before he could call it a day... 


End file.
